As your child gets into his or her teens and start to look finding their own identity, many experience hormonal, psychological and behavioral changes that can seem weird and unpracticable to parents. Your little darling who never let go of you now doesn’t want to accompany you or be within 10 yards of you and also has started the shutting the door of his/her room on you. You little darling who used to sleep on time now stays on the smartphone till late at night. This might be difficult for you but this is normal and its your start of parenting the normal teenager.
There are no warning signs here but,
If your teenager child has started showing signs of frequent quarrel, aggression, psychological difficulty in learning and sudden loss of concentration in studies then these are the signs of a troubled teen and these signs should not be missed. These teens are always at the risk of high risk behavior like skipping school, drinking alcohol, drug use or even sex. The repeated negative behaviours can be the first warning signs for parents to understand that there is an underlying problem which needs to be taken care of.
How to differentiate between Normal Teen and Troubled Teen?:
Increased Arguments & Rebellion
Normal Teenager: Will frequently argue in order to seek independence.
Warning Signs: Over escalation of arguments, skipping school, getting in fights in schools etc go beyond the normal teen rebellion.
Mood Swings
Normal Teenager: Hormonal Changes can often lead to mood swings, irritable behavior and often this is normal for teenagers to face these.
Warning Signs: Changes in personality, suddenly becoming an introvert, sleep disorder, anxiety can be signs of bullying or depression which might need intervention by parents.
Friends Over Parents
Normal Teenager: Friends become very important to teenagers. They wish to spend more time with their friends than you. This may make you feel anxious but remember they still need your love and now not as parents but as friends.
Warning Signs: Sudden Change in friend circle leading to negative behaviours. Refusing to even acknowledge your contribution to them, extensive lying, bunking classes, frequent requests of over-night sleepovers can ne some warning signs.
How to deal with your teenager:
Do not express your anger or take out your stress on them. If you are stressed then now is not the time to communicate with them
Reduce their screen time. There is a direct correlation between violent tv series and anger shown by teenagers. Move your teens to constructive screen time and make them watch constructive series like Sharktank etc.
Encourage Exercising. This will help your teenager to channelize the additional hormones being produced in a much better manner. Healthy Mind resides in a Heathy Body.
Talk to them. You should talk to your teens. They need to feel heard. Take their advice on normal family issues. Make them feel important. Don’t just ask the usual question, “What happened in school today”. These typically obvious questions make them feel that you are just trying to keep a check.
Listen without judging and advice. At times your teen just wants him or her to heard. They are not always looking for advice or judgement
Find common topics to discuss and talk about. If the teen is interested in technology then you should also find some information on same and engage them in a healthy discussion on their topic of interest.
Make them sleep well.